Wednesday, May 28, 2008

The Final Stage


"If you're hopelessly depressed like I was, then dressing up is just the ultimate escape. When I was young I just wanted to be noticed. Nothing could excite me except attention so I'd dress up as much as I could. Outrage and boredom just go hand in hand " ... "Gets to a point where you really can’t operate any more as a human being – you can’t get out of bed, you can’t…make yourself a cup of coffee without something going badly wrong or your body’s too weak to walk.... ( Richey Edwards - Manic Street Preachers Ex Guitarist-)
"When you're a suicider, you not only kill yourself, you kill the people behind you, your parents, your friends, something in them dies too" A good friend pasted me this conversation via msn as a warning. If i think about commiting suicide I have to deal with the fucking idea that I´ll be leaving this world with a heavy load thinking that whoever writted this shit may be right. Im just wasting time and space in this viceral world trying to keep on track with the rest of the working zombies called humans. How to be dead? It reminds me of a song SP song tittle but it makes me think how to do it? Should I get a loaded gun? What about a bunch of pills? Naaaa I´d problably be somehow helping the " clichés" getting strong. I dunno want to be guilty and murdered for the price of commiting a cheap and meditated suicide! What about some music playing on the back of your plans? Interpol, The Beatles, and my INDIE favs bands playing just for me in that special moment. What a thing to do! It is like a big celebration! People should make a suididal parade! Now here comes the fall and I am wrestling with my deepest fears that doesnt know how to prepare me to leave this fucking life.
She swears Im a psycho, Im a weirdo, I do not know how to handle this energy packet. I have an answer fo u all people that thinks I can become what you imagine I could be or shall be. Let me put my life in my hands and forget about the rest, after all we all have whats called good will.

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